I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. * Galatians 2:20 *

12 April 2012

Urgency & Panic


This week marks the beginning of the end: the beginning of my last year in Japan.  The sense of panic and urgency hadn’t surfaced until yesterday, but it had been slowly building.  Here’s why.

First, March 16th marked the end of my first year of teaching.  March 16th also marked the halfway point of my teaching career here in Japan: one down, one to go, so to speak.  Urgency & Panic: .5/10

Second, on April 4th at 7:45am, Allyson and I watched our Carolyn leave.  It was a tough day.  Needless to say, many tears were shed.  Also, Carolyn had been my roomie during the days leading up to her departure, which made it even harder to say good-bye.  Things don't feel right with her gone.  Urgency & Panic: 3/10

Third, my family has purchased their tickets for their visit in August.  This visit has been tentatively scheduled since I first arrived in Japan and the fact that it will happen in a matter of months is surreal to me.  When they get here, it is the 24:6 mark – 24 months in Japan, 6 months left.  Urgency & Panic: 5/10

Fourth, I taught my first class of the year yesterday.  The lesson consisted only of introductions, but it marked the beginning.  It’s the beginning of familiar, yet new experiences: the beginning of a new year.  Urgency & Panic: 2/10

Finally, yesterday was the first English Department meeting of the year.  At the meeting, we discussed responsibilities for the year.  As the head of the sports curriculum, Allyson is in charge of piecing together the final exam.  However, for the re-take test and the re-re-take test at the end of the year, Katie is in charge.  Katie leaned over and explained, “You’re in charge for the final test, but if there are students who need to re-take or re-re-take the test, you’ll probably be gone by then, so I’ll take care of it.”  I turned to Allyson and the face that she saw reflected exactly what I felt.  Urgency & Panic: 15/10

It’s the beginning of the end.  I’m torn, depressed, excited, panicked, hopeful, anxious, nervous, and overwhelmed.  I don’t want this experience to end, but it inevitably will.  The comfort is in this: when it does end, God is there with the next great adventure.  And so I fasten my seatbelt on this rollercoaster of life filled with excitement and anticipation, not knowing where this year will take me or where I’ll go when this ride comes to a close, but feeling comforted none-the-less.

27 March 2012

January, February, & March: An Anecdotal Summary


* Students *
Going from a 30-hr/wk job to a 50 to 60-hr/wk job has been… difficult; however, the students make it worth it.  A couple vignettes. Our 10th grade students went to Hokkaido on a school trip in January and upon their return, I received a souvenir from one of my students.  I was surprised because I had thought that in regards to teachers, it was out of sight out of mind.  I guess I was wrong about that.  Another memorable experience happened around the time of finals.  One student came to the office looking for my Japanese partner teacher.  She wasn’t there, so he was stuck with me.  At first he was nervous and hesitant (I’ll admit, I was too); however, we spent time 1-on-1 together and I got to see a side of him I hadn’t seen before.  Another unexpected gift.

* Marathon *
Miss Carolyn ran in the 1st ever Kumamoto Castle Marathon.  Allyson, Kane, Patrick, and I watched and cheered at various places on the course.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like to run that far.  It was truly inspiring to watch her run for a full marathon in 5½ hours and to see her cross the finish line.  I’m running more these days, but nothing close to what she’s capable of.

* Dentist *
I have bad teeth.  Apparently they’ve gotten worse since I’ve been here in Japan (maybe because there’s no fluoride in the water, I’ve been drinking less milk and eating more sweets, etc.).  I finally made it to the dentist again only to find out that I had 8 cavities.  In the States, I would have started weeping.  I always got misty eyed when I had 1 cavity… but 8!  However, this devastating news didn’t seem so bad because it came from a good friend of mine; he happens to be my dentist as well.  Best to stay positive.  This just meant more time to hang out… kind of.

* Volleyball *
What do teachers do when they need to take a load off?  Why, play volleyball, of course!  So that’s exactly what we did.  At first, I was really nervous.  I didn’t personally know anyone on my team and I hadn’t had much interaction with any of them until that day.  However, the nervousness was unnecessary.  The day was oh-so-much fun!  I also developed a rivalry against the team of the English Dept. Head – and my team prevailed!

* Broad Law, White Rock *
I went to the junior high office to meet with my partner teacher for our final weekly meeting.  Over the course of discussing the final classes of the year, learning what the kanji of his name mean, and making a possible Biblical connection to that meaning, we ended up talking about our personal beliefs and faith.  He told me that he’d never talked to a J3 about his religious beliefs before and he was really glad that we’d gotten to discuss something so important and meaningful.  This conversation was the culmination of our growing relationship this past year; something I’m very thankful for.

* Faux Family *
Recently, I’ve been able to spend time with a long-term missionary family here in Kumamoto.  They have been such a blessing, in ways that I can only begin to put into words.  Last week I was able to eat dinner and watch movies with them.  At dinner, we joined hands and prayed ‘Come, Lord Jesus’ – something that my family does in the States.  We watched TV while eating and then my 2 friends and I stayed up until 5 am watching movies of all genres – something that my siblings and I haven’t actually done, but are more than capable of doing.  It was a glimpse of home, a glimpse of family.  Something I needed, especially since I haven’t seen my family for over 1½ years.  An unexpected blessing.

* New Year *
And now, unlike in America, we will start a new school year at the beginning of April.  It marks my being in Japan for 1½ years and means that I only have 1 year left.  I look forward to teaching more, learning more, and growing more; perhaps having some new adventures and experiences along the way as well.

21 March 2012

* Sending Service Sermon *


This past Sunday I was asked to give the sermon at the Kumamoto Lutheran international worship service.  The Gospel reading was John 3:13-21.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned, it’s this: life happens.  Life is always moving, moving forward, moving on.  Things are always going on, new things are always happening.  As with life in general, people also are always moving, moving forward, moving on.  There’s constant movement.  People come and people go.  This movement can be within the boundaries of one’s own town or city.  It can also be a bigger movement, maybe within the boarders of one’s own country.  Or maybe it’s even broader, with fewer limitations, to many different places around the world.  No matter where it happens, the movement is constantly occuring. 
Focusing now on coming and going, to me it seems to be quite a funny thing.  It’s all movement, however it can happen in different ways.  Maybe it’s geared toward you: coming, arriving, approaching.  Or maybe it’s the opposite, geared away from you: going, leaving, sending.  How you see the movement depends on your perspective.  The same movement can evoke different feelings and emotions depending on the perspective.  The connotation of words like ‘coming’ and ‘arriving’ often involve hope, excitement, or anticipation.  On the flip side, maybe the connotation of the word ‘leaving’ involves feelings of sadness or loss, or signifies an end.  Words of movement can be happy or sad words; they can also be indifferent.  Again, it depends on the perspective.  Are you the one that things or people are coming toward?  Are you the one that things or people are leaving behind?
In the Fall of 2005, I had a grand movement of my own, one that many of you have had or will have in the future: I went to college.  Yes, I moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota to go to Augsburg College.  Maybe this wasn’t as big of a move as others had to make, but it was the first of its kind for me.  I left Owatonna, a town of 25,000 people, and moved 1 hour North to a sprawling metropolis and sat myself down right in the middle of it.  This one action entailed many different kinds of movements.  To me, I was GOING to Augsburg College.  It was new and exciting.  To my family, I was LEAVING home, exciting, but sad.  To my new friends, I was COMING to Minneapolis, to start a new life in a new community – also exciting and filled with expectation.  However, there was one other type of movement that I didn’t anticipate in its entirety, that of returning. 
For me, I was RETURNING.  For my new friends, I was LEAVING.  To my family, I was COMING home.  However, for me, I returned home only to feel left behind.  I got home and nobody was there.  My parents were at work and my sister and brother were still at school.  I waited until they arrived home only to discover that the movement didn’t stop there.  Every member of my family was leaving, again, whether for church meetings, bowling league, part-time jobs, or time with friends.  Life here had gone on without me.  I was surprised by this fact and also lonely.  My family kept going, whether I was there or gone.  This movement I didn’t like.
Moving to Japan involved more actions, more movement.  From my perspective, I was GOING to Japan.  From my family’s perspective I was LEAVING home and from my friends’ perspective I was LEAVING for Japan.  From the perspective of those waiting in Japan, I was COMING.  However, in all this movement, the leaving behind also happened: for family and friends, but also for me.  It has become painfully obvious that I’m being left behind or left out of many important things that are happening at home: missing weddings and graduations of friends and family members, missing happenings at church, performances of my brother’s band, friends moving to new cities or starting families.  I’m missing a lot.  Maybe you are missing these things, too.
However, there’s a flip side to all these movements, to all these changes.  For me, maybe I do feel left behind.  But for those doing the moving, they’re moving forward.  For me, sadness is the predominating emotion because I’m missing so much; it seems like everyone waited until I left to do anything.  But for them, the predominating emotion is that of happiness and anticipation as they begin the next chapter in their lives.  We all have many movements in our lives.  Many of these movements are physical movements: moving from one place to another, moving to the next chapter in life, or moving forward in age.  However, there are also many mental and emotional movements.  Moving from despair to hope, excitement to boredom, frustration to relief, happiness to sadness.  Jesus also had these kinds of movements: physical, mental, and emotional.
Jesus’ ministry physically moved him to and from many different places; he came, he went, he arrived, he left.  At each place, he did and taught many things.  At the Jordan River he was baptized.  He then was tempted in the desert.  He went to Cana a couple times, performing his first miracle and later healing an official’s son.  In Judea, he spent some time with Nicodemus before leaving to chat with the woman in Samaria.  He returned to Nazareth only to have people plot to kill him.  That stay didn’t last long.  Jesus went to Galilee many times.  There he called 4 fishermen, eventually chose his 12 disciples, calmed the sea, walked on water, fed 4,000, and it was also from there that he sent out his disciples.  He healed Peter’s mother-in-law and brought Jairus’s daughter back to life in Capernaum and also fed 5,000 in Bethsaida.  He went to Mount Hermon, where he was transfigured and eventually made his way to Bethany to visit Mary and Martha and later to raise Lazarus.  His journey ended in Jerusalem, a place where he healed, celebrated, and died.  Needless to say, Jesus moved around a lot.  There was a lot of movement, both physically and spiritually, in his ministry. 
However, there is something very important and distinct about his movement, something that sets it apart from other types of coming and going.  This distinction is found in John chapter 3 verse 17; we find that Jesus was SENT.  God SENT his Son.  This verb makes all the difference: the meaning and significance behind the comings and goings changes.  People can come and go, arrive and leave, having a purpose or not having one.  You can come and go without having a particular goal or objective.  But being SENT, that’s another thing altogether.  Being SENT often infers that there is a mission, a strong purpose, or a goal; that you’ve got something specific in mind, something to accomplish.  Jesus was SENT to all of these different places during his ministry.  At each place, he did something important or something significant happened.  We can learn something new and valuable with every stop that he made along the way, at each town he visited.  He didn’t stay in one place for the entirety of his ministry.  He didn’t wait for people to come to him, he went out.  He was sent, re-sent, and re-re-sent; each time with a purpose, a divine purpose.  He had to come and go, arrive and leave, return and leave again.  But behind all this movement there is reason, a purpose for his every movement, and a purpose for every action.  This purpose, this reason: to save.
Jesus was sent, sent by God, sent with a purpose, and sent with a plan.  He was also re-sent, not staying in one location.  Jesus also sent his disciples.  He sent them with a purpose, a mission, and a plan.  The disciples, also, were re-sent, going to many different places on their journey to spread the Good News.  Jesus also sends us.  We are sent with a purpose, sent with a plan.  Like Jesus and the disciples, we are re-sent as well.  Like Jesus, we don’t tend to stay in one place.  We move around, travelling to different places whether for short visits or long stays.  In these different places, we teach and learn many things.  What we teach and what we learn varies.  It varies by location, by who surrounds us, by what we need to be teaching or learning at that specific place, but it’s always for a purpose.  When we are re-sent, maybe that means going to a new place, moving on so to speak.  However, re-sending doesn’t have to be exploring a new place, it can also be returning.  Jesus returned to many places during his ministry, always with a plan or goal.  When we are re-sent, we may go to a new place or return to an old place but we are always changed as a result of the previous place and time.  However, we are sent none-the-less.
For those of you who will be leaving Kumamoto soon, whether you have lived here your entire life or for just a short time, you have been changed, formed, by this city.  The experiences, the people, the places, all of them have shaped you or changed you into who you are now.  You may leave a changed person, but you have also changed the lives of others, all those with whom you have come into contact.  You have had a profound effect on your family, your friends, your students, your teachers, anyone and everyone.  As you leave this place, the change that you encourage and nurture in others will be brought to wherever you are next.  You will continue to change lives, those of new friends, new students or youth, new teachers or co-workers, and everyone else you meet. 
You are being sent.  Sent to the next destination, or returning to a previous one.  Either way, knowing that you all are being sent will maybe make it easier for those who will remain here.  It all depends on the perspective.  I know for me, it’ll be hard.  It’s hard to say good-bye to people who have had such a profound and lasting effect on me.  I’ve grown as a person, I’ve learned a lot, and I know it’s all thanks to the people that I’ve spent time with here.  When you leave, it’ll suck, there’s no way around it; however, I know you’re not leaving us behind, just being sent, or re-sent. 
If you are one of those being sent, I pray God’s blessings upon you as you move forward; for protection while travelling and on the road ahead, for support emotionally, mentally, and physically, for strength to handle the changes in your life and the new situations that you will encounter, and for courage to face these situations head on.  

04 March 2012

Rainy Day Reflection


* Purikura w/ Chihomi *

The Lenten Season is conducive to reflecting.  Rainy days also are conducive to the aforementioned reflecting.  Since today was both, it was only a matter of time before a blog worthy reflection came about.

After the International Worship Service this evening, I wandered around downtown with my friend Chihomi doing the usual shopping, purikura, and catching a bite to eat.  It was on my walk home that I started to think about the service in 2 weeks, when I will be in charge of giving the sermon.  It will also be a special sending service for those leaving Kumamoto, for both international and domestic locations.  I was thinking that instead of having a sermon based on the Gospel for that day, a special sending sermon might be in order.  I began thinking about what I might say when it hit me: Carolyn will be leaving soon.  When she leaves, a part of me will be gone, returning to the States (cliché, I know, but it’s true).  You never realize how much a part of your life someone has become until they leave.  Life will be the same, yet completely different.  ‘If only I could freeze time,’ I thought to myself.
* Good Times w/ Carolyn *

It’s not the first time I’ve thought that.  When I moved to Minneapolis and was no longer with my family, I wished I could have frozen time when my we all lived under one roof.  When I finished college and started working, I longed to freeze time during the college days when I was learning more about the world and about myself.  When I left for Japan, I wanted to freeze time and live in the days when I lived with my Aunt and Uncle and worked with amazing people at Augsburg.  And now, I want to freeze time, to spend time with the people I have come to know and, inevitably, love. 
* The cast of the next great sitcom *

Reflecting back on that reflection, I realized something: If I was asked which stage of my life I would most like to be frozen in, I wouldn’t be able to choose.  Every stage, every era, every year of my life is freeze-worthy.  I wouldn’t trade any part of it for anything.  I would be happy frozen in any moment in time.  What a blessing to be able to say that.  What a blessed life.

27 January 2012

South Korean Adventures! (12.26.11 - 1.2.12)


I love to travel.  If I had an infinite amount of time and money, I would make a concerted effort to visit every country in the world.  However, seeing as that’s not the case, I’ll take what I can get and what I can get is South Korea!

On the morning of December 26th, Allyson and I hopped on the (wrong) bus bound for Fukuoka.  Upon arriving at the train station (not the airport), we eventually found or way and arrived at our gate as they were boarding.  It was a wonderful way to start our international trip!

We spent the first couple days in Seoul, exploring the various cultural and commercial aspects of the city.  We enjoyed some delicious Korean food (like Spicy Kimchi Soup and Bibimbop), viewed the city from the top of the Seoul Tower, wandered through many shopping streets and malls, and toured various temples, churches, and castles. 
* Part of our 1st meal in Korea *
* Mascot of Seoul * 
* One of the many churches in Seoul *
* Seoul Train Station *
Next, we travelled southeast to Pusan (or Busan) by train.  Originally, we were going to do an overnight temple stay; however, due to some miscommunication, it never happened.  Even though that didn’t work out, we still had a pretty good time.  We explored the city by foot, visited the UN Memorial Cemetery, had dinner at a fun pub called Thursday Party, and enjoyed the view from the Songdo Coastal Walkway.  Then we boarded a plane and headed to our next destination…
* The temple we thought we were staying at... *
* View of Pusan from Gwangalli Beach *
* This picture explains itself... *
* View of Pusan from the Songdo Coastal Walkway *
* Allysons with Pusan's Diamond Bridge *
…Jeju Island!  We decided to visit this island specifically because of its New Year’s Eve Festival.  We arrived on the island, got lost with our taxi driver who didn’t know where our hostel was (and didn’t speak a word of English), finally arrived at our hostel, and then headed out to the location of the festivities.  At the site, we enjoyed performances by Korean dancers, singers, and percussionists.  We also spent time with new foreign friends, watched fireworks, and ran away from the dangerously huge bonfire.  At 5:00am we caught a taxi, went back to the hostel, and slept for a couple hours before heading back to the airport.
* Percussionist group on Jeju Island *
* The dangerously huge bonfire *
* New Year's fireworks *
Our trip finished where it began, in Seoul.  We went to the Korea War Memorial and then met up with our good friends Carolyn and Haraguchi先生 for dinner at a Mexican restaurant.  It was an early night because the next morning was also early.  We caught the bus to the airport as the sun began to rise and, once at the airport, I scouted out a Caribou Coffee (in Korea, of all places), a perfect end to the trip.
* Korea War Memorial *
* 1 of 2 Caribou Coffee stores in the Incheon International Airport *
I love travelling.  Things can very easily go wrong and it’s always quite stressful, but there’s no better way to learn more about other countries, other cultures, and also about yourself.